A couple of weeks ago, we asked UK hoteliers what they’d like to buy their hotels for Christmas.

It only seemed fair. After all, on the 25th December, we all get to open our own presents – so why shouldn’t the fabulous hotels that can be found in every nook and cranny of this country get a little treat, too?

Well, we received a whole bunch of requests for Santa (some unpublishable), and we’d like to share the best with you today. Anonymously, of course…

All my hotel wants for Christmas is…

…“A new washing machine”

Clearly, this hotelier (and probably the guests) are a bit fed up with less-than-fragrant washing. Or perhaps the spin cycle has broken (which is understandable – hotel washing machines are hard workers).

…“New staff”

We’ll just leave that one there.

…“A new chef”

And… we’ll leave that one there, too.

…“A drop in VAT”

The 20% VAT rate paid by UK tourism businesses is one of the highest in Europe, and there has long been a campaign to see it slashed to 5%. There’s even a website that encourages those within the industry to rally against the high rate. Can Santa help?

…“A visit from Santa with chocolates for all the staff on Christmas morning”

This seems entirely justified. Long hours and early starts means sugar is a vital pick-me-up for hotel staff, and Christmas means you can eat as much of it as you like – as early as you want in the day!

…“A week off”

Run out of holiday allowance? Maybe Santa can have a word with the person in charge of HR.

…“Christmas off”

More hotels are now opening over the Christmas period as people search for alternative ways to spend time with their family during the festive season. Unfortunately, this desire to leave the cooking and clearing up to someone else inevitably means the responsibility falls on the shoulders of hospitality professionals.

…“A refurb of the reception to create the best first impression”

It’s the first impression most guests get of your hotel, and while it might be a big ask, we’re sure Santa will understand and be able to call on his friends in the trade.

…“Faster internet”

Super-fast broadband is still struggling to make its presence felt across the entire UK. Santa might have his work cut out with this one.

…“The car park resurfaced and spaces made bigger”

We can only assume that the later part of this request is in response to the increasingly massive SUVs and 4×4 ‘Chelsea Wagons’ people are filling their drives with these days.

…“More direct bookings”

We hear Santa knows a thing or two about channel management, so he’s probably in a great position to help out with this particular request.

…“More weddings and event bookings”

Have wedding and event bookings slowed in your hotel? These remain two of the hardest market segments to crack as an independent hotelier.

…“Room refurbs finished quicker”

With guest expectations continually rising for the in-room experience, it’s not unusual for hotels to refurbish rooms more regularly. But, yeah, wouldn’t it be nice if the paint dried a little quicker and the carpet guy turned up on time?

…“Wi-Fi and coffee machines in all guest rooms”

This sounds suspiciously like a guest request, but as these two things are essentially the fuel of life, who are we to question them?

…“A Christmas party for the whole group”

Depending on the hotel group in question, that’s probably one hell of a Christmas party. Although, we’re sure Santa can pull some strings (particularly those of the finance director’s purse…).

…“A staff coffee machine”

Yeah – why should the guests get all the coffee tech? As any hotel worker will know, attempting to get through a long shift without at least a couple of decent coffees is virtually impossible. Ok – harder.

…“Elves to come in and take over at Christmas so the staff can have time off”

Imagine how cool a hotel run by elves would be. This is our favourite; we’ll ask Santa to push it to the top of his list.

Let’s see what Santa brings on Christmas Day morning, eh?